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    Saturday, June 30
    now using my da jie's labtop...
    kinda like sean's that one...
    lol.
    these days sux...
    i hav been with fear all along....
    where the fear cames from i also dunno manz...
    u guys didn go to my xanga site haven u...
    lols...
    dun go liao lar...
    i meant to those who r going...
    coz i think this is enough...
    i wanna change the blogskin leh...
    dunno cn find a better one or not..
    lols
    i still like boulvard of broken dreams that one..
    flashing background..
    lols
    still dunwan to do hw...
    i'm such a spoil brat..
    i want to change!!!
    EVERYTHING'S Changing


    ♥ signed off at 5:04 PM

    Friday, June 29
    Nonetheless, it has been the same on the boring secondary school....
    yesterday, sec3 npcc talk bout themselves...
    they say zhenyang was permisstice...
    Does him?dunthink so...
    then yeah chaoying IS sort of like "scary"?
    I m immature?
    they gotta be kidding me...
    but relli la...
    the sec1,2 face i cn laugh like hell liao...
    nvm...
    lets go to today...
    first period chemistry which is BORIN...
    second n third period was Maths
    which is borin as well...
    going to sleep ler.,.but forced myself to wake up...
    to peeked at her...
    wtf...
    then it was English...
    whereby mengting fan me wif her continuous question marks....
    oh ya..this morning, it is the ST.john's n NCC's big day?
    Mr soong speech was like so omg...
    mrs adawiyah one was ok but dunno why that motherfuckin face beside me is giving the teacher that idoitic face...
    wth...One of my HATES actually...
    then then then..
    i walk passed her when the lessons are over...
    i ran to catch up wif Mr Lim...
    ok no prob there...
    but then..i...dunno wad to say la...
    i wanna say something n dunwanna say something..zz
    then in npcc,
    i gotta cleaned up the room...
    check out the stupid logistics tables...
    smashed the poles inside the ssmall little space...
    throw rubbish which was like 4kg...
    almost cnnt carry it...
    when i carry, the things torned apart...
    DAMN...
    n those sec 1 doesn't give me the respect i want...
    even when i m in a stern look...
    nvm..i DUNCARE BOUT THEM...
    stupid idoits...
    badmouthing bout logistics...
    oh yeah, if u come to sec3, u will know the real joy of taking the other jobs n then they will appreciate
    logistic is a great job actually..
    COZ I DUNNID TO INTRACTED WIF U ALL!!
    DAMN DAMN DAMN...
    motherfuckin jerks n bitches...
    especially u 3..no 4!if i'm not wrong...
    FUCK OFF!
    sry bout the bad words...
    ZHEN MO BAN???


    ♥ signed off at 9:30 PM

    Wednesday, June 27
    These days were very downright stupid....
    i go to school n the first thing i do was to take out those homeworks i nvr do i teacher duneven want to collect already...
    i ask sean n meiting but it was no use...
    they were too stupid liaos...
    nvm..i also use that to waste my time..make me busy..n i did it!!
    at recess, i normally dun eat so i just study...
    sean ask me whether i had gone mad...
    But i'm relli MAD!!!!
    i read n read but nothing came to my mind...
    i'm like reading shit that doesn't even go into my brains...
    but this IS MEANT to be a DISTRACTION...
    n it had done well in that...
    or issit that i had been adapting the feelings n finally had adapted to this type of reading...
    although when some one mention her name...
    when someone's name is the same as her...
    when i hav to force myself to hear that name...
    even though the NAME was not HERS...
    i will still like....
    it does affect me actually...
    A great deal too...
    but as long as her name doesn't showed up...
    even if i'm peeping at her like always...
    i relli wun cry or do wadeva crazy things liao...
    it was sortta like the end of everything...
    finally the end...
    the FINALE will always be the most interesting part n everything will be happily ever after...
    BUT the story had yet been finished...
    i had to destroyed the past..
    buried the past inside me..her..n u all..
    then it will be the END..
    lets start wif today...
    the shirt is finally going to be out...
    but no yet still...
    as usual daniel lim will ask us to stay back n as usual i will come out wif excusable excuse to get away from him...not like someother ppl...
    today's excuse was better than ever...
    i had the form that no one else had...
    i was EXCUSED((=
    still nvr do physics hw..omg...
    i do on the book itself liao lar..the MCQ qns onli...
    everything was fine even then i got to go off earlier preventing my group from going to present today.. hehe
    sabrinaa saw me...haiz..things just cnnt be UNDO leh...
    take the MRT wif lots of ppl...
    wow...this is like a dream come true man...
    walking on the streets taking bus or now, mrt wif teachers n fellow students...
    NOT using SCHOOL bus!!hahas xDD
    the other schools were great...
    we played a game there which is called changing of clothes?
    dunno but the theme is little red riding hood...
    meiting be the old granny, i be the BIG BAD WOLF...
    but i onli get to act a little while the little red riding hood get all the attention...
    well i beat him on the new game;molopoly
    all the celebrity names i all dunno...
    damn it..
    must let them know....
    jessica alba? how??
    she was a tiger beer advertisement?
    ahe look like ali baba suprisingly...
    may actually know!!
    from 3-1 de..yeah..i hoped i dun get mix up...
    then wad bout ryan seacrest?
    erm, he looks like bryan...
    holding a crest..
    lols
    wad more?nvm..the rest all forget...
    i should hav won by then..zz
    i give way to them a lot liao lor...
    haiz..woodlands ring nvr in there...
    Just like always...
    Mang wan le ma?


    ♥ signed off at 8:10 PM

    Monday, June 25
    she saw me today....
    her attidue towards me change...
    change until i wanna cry likedat...
    talk to zhenyang...
    he relli stress out likedat sia....
    but he no problem liao....
    maybe studying is the solution...
    guys when u see my study these days...
    i'm still that stupid lameo bloody lazy winson....
    just that its the time to change...
    ok done..
    talk bout today..
    the croackoach showed up at jaslyn's chair...
    i was expecting some bombaring responds but no...
    so sad....
    it was dead ok..just like wad my dreams tell me...
    farhan pick up that croackoah n going to throw...
    wif miss siti saying those fong liang hua...
    then the croakoah suddenly appeared...
    shout until like dunno wad...
    well, this is a suprise...
    nvr actually 'see' it 'before'
    a pleasant suprise x)
    daniel lim first lesson diam diam liao...
    wtf...
    dunno why he need my name for wad...
    wtf...
    then we told him bout the npcc liao...
    he still forgot...
    how dare he...
    not like so mani things for him to rmb...
    not like he was a big shot or wadeva...
    mdm chong cn rmb everything why cnt he??
    Grr...
    stand up liao...
    reason being i wanna stand up...
    i got bring the notebook de lorhh...
    but that motherfuckin face...
    nvm...at least i no need to copy...
    the first day wif them.,...
    the bickering nvr ends...
    which also do includes the laughter...
    we see the 换换爱 n mani things la...
    although we r competeing for the computer la...
    hahas..btw i changed the song liao...
    to BEST FRIENDS...
    i dunhav any BEST FRIEND coz i duneven know who my FRIENDS r...
    so...
    i relli need them...
    especially now...
    aiya...
    mang mang jiu wang ji le...
    i hoped


    ♥ signed off at 8:38 PM

    Sunday, June 24
    a day had ended....
    wif my cousin hiting me...pinching me...'torture' me...
    n i emotional attack her....
    it was fun seeing her angry n siao...
    wahahas.*evil grin*
    firah called me n we meet up at the bookshop there..which is not opened...
    then i walk round nowhere when sabrina msg me n ask me some stupid primary 1 qns...
    so i walk round explain the qns to her..
    n she will then explain to her brother...
    zzz...she say she forgot liao..so she onli remeber the steps at that time..
    zz..
    then saw one long time no see auntie


    ♥ signed off at 9:59 PM

    the arrival of their presence is quite grand
    As if president arrive liao likedat
    my parents threw away lots of things...
    but not mine la...
    all my things hav stories behind it...
    let's start bout yesterday,
    go out n meet sabrina...
    as usual, i'm ON time until cnnt on time liao..
    but she got late....
    haiz...i lend her the A-maths...
    i should say sean's
    n she lend me the E-maths...
    she say i LOOKED taller n thinner...
    everybody is saying the same thingy...zz..
    then she gone to the library to borrow books while i sit down at a corner to copy...
    then i saw one hairy u-know-what...i was like...
    maybe he was my real father...
    lols...he looks like a china men...
    he is...ok...
    then i go out...read some books...
    get my hell out of the library...
    when i saw sean listening to his ipod...
    i got nothing else on so follow him lorhh...
    he meet up wif bernard on that restaurant...
    n then bernard say he will throw the food down if that mother fuckin bitch smacked on the table...
    then ask me if i wanna leave or not...
    of coz not la!!
    i wanna see the show...
    i was expecting it coz i nvr seen that b4...
    but the bitch's mood is good today...
    she did fall the tray though...
    nvm..
    i told them i'm going home but actually i'm not...
    i go down where i saw one woodlands ringer,
    who recongise me as FIRAH's EX...
    lol..i dunno that until firah msg me u know....
    aiya...duncare la..
    if i didn remember wrongly..
    she's the alysa from 3-3...
    dunno how to spell hher name la...
    n the two other girls...
    they r pretty girly though...
    yeah the alysa girl is quite shy like wad sean said...
    but i also too wad...
    suddenly a loner's onli woid deck become added wif 3 girls...
    n some music...
    n some more qns they dunno provided...
    haiz....
    they say i'm smart...
    but I'M NOT...
    like last time on the leadership course where we mix wif other schools..
    then our school mixed wif one on jurong east de...
    then everyone dunwan to go to their group...
    wad a 'togetherness' between our school wor...
    see their school so little ppl..
    i go n join them lorhh then they say..
    winson this how to do ar...this how to say ar...this correct right?
    i was like ah uh ah uh..
    then i ask them why u must ask ME all the time!!??
    u know wad they say?coz u look smart ma...
    LOL=.=
    ok back to my story...
    those two girls r from evergreen if i'm not wrong coz i peeked at their worksheet when they ask me how to do this how to do that...
    at first i thought they were sec 2
    but they ask me bout pure physics..daniel lim
    kays i'm wrong....
    then two guys wif the cowboy style showed up...
    they acting gd sia...
    i know wad excatly was happening...
    but they say i look blur..look scared..
    of coz..i'm scared of U!!!i mean the girl who is quite da dan...
    they say bout musfirah...she know them?
    they say they were like friend a puke again...
    rivals maybe?
    the cowboys guys got pissed off n go liao..
    they finished their homework i go too...
    ALONE


    ♥ signed off at 11:02 AM

    Saturday, June 23
    i received something bout wad guys do when they r flirting...
    well, actually, it was quite true for my case...
    although mine doesn't count as flirt!
    *~*Girls*~*
    1. He stares at you a lot.
    2. He hits you a lot. (just play hitting )
    3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a conversation with you
    4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mom that day she picked you up from school.(zz)
    5. He blew off his buds to go see "Run Away Bride" with you cuz you couldn't get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone.(Not.Appilcable)
    6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process
    7. His voice gets softer ("Hey, you") when ever you two talk.
    8. You hung up on him. He called you back.
    9.You where invited by him to a group outing.
    10. He called you to talk about nothing at all.
    11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do snort sometimes. Which makes you laugh even harder.
    12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation.
    13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes.
    14. He every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, ass, thighs, >>>ect.)(N.A)
    adapted from e-mail chain messagers from Guan Wei
    Those in N.A no need to care....=.=
    ok girls beware when the guys do that to u...
    it will hav 89.1% of falling in love wif u already!!O.O
    that guy is highly dangerous..stay away from him now onwards T.T
    well for ur information the 89.1% is just for fun...
    the actual answer is ACTUALLY 100%!!!!!
    do wadeva u want wif that guy...maybe he will just hide his feeling from u forever n u both will be the best of pals after that
    den den den denpls DUN stay away from that guy...ok
    today saw sean, sabrina, n the alissa?
    giv u all the updates tomorow...
    i cnnt believe someone actually KNOW me...
    i meant everyone actually KNOW me...
    wad the hell is going on wif the world...
    i thought i'm a loner though...
    btw..i know why feelings get weaken after time...
    after much consideration, the answer should hav been often...
    coz u oftenly see him,
    frequently see her..
    u will eventually take things for granted...
    then u will seems like
    the face appear before u everytime..anytime...
    soon, u will forget the existence of it...
    just like the air...
    u relli need it...it essential to all of us...
    but we dun see the air..around us...
    coz we took air for granted n as wad air does...
    it doesn't hav feeling...
    it is hav feeling...it should be the kinship or love we cnnt feel...
    the selfless sacrifice for our our survival...
    for NO regrets n dun wish to hav anything in return...
    i wanna be her air...
    n i dunwish to hav anything in return....
    just another stupid post by me...
    life kust bring one more death...
    but i wished to giv u support in anyway i cn...
    until the day when u dun need me anymore...
    dun need air anymore...
    which is until u r DEAD...
    i'll fall apart...
    just like wad u do...
    always follow u...
    Gone wif the air...


    ♥ signed off at 9:35 PM

    Friday, June 22
    it was confirmed that they will be here at sunday...
    when is my nightmare starting....
    this is just the begining T.T
    come to think of it...
    i'm with them since i'm 4-5yrs old....
    n slept in their hse maybe for one yr..considering knowing them for 10 yrs!
    sometimes they will help me ask my mother if i cn sleep over...
    or sometimes i ask her myself...
    but things wun be the same as last time...
    when we r tian zhen(naive) huo puo(innocent)....
    i hoped to be back to last time...
    when we play stupid lameo games which i m still playing now n laughing together..just like old times...
    when i m the second youngest, second oldest...n they were one bigger than me by one yr...n one smaller than me by one yr!
    get scolding together...get to eat together...although i wasn't wif them during recess time i remember n yearned for it deep inside my heart....
    life had gonna change...either of the circumstances or the person itself!
    it is going to be one week...or maybe 2....
    imagine a 5-room flat, wif 9 ppl....failed my maths now i m tiding up my room although its so TIDY ALREADY...
    dunbelieve?ask mengting bijie or yanqing they all....>.<
    its so clean lorhh...
    nvm la...for them lorhh =x
    someppl say i lost lots of weight..n i told them 7kg...which is nth but the truth...they believed me... n ask me if i got starve myself or not...zzz...ehh from 65kg -58leh!!!lols..maybe gaining weight again sometimes..which i dunwan to...
    i repeat myself...I'M NOT LAME! i'm not even trying to be..geddit? lols
    today the week holiday shall end...
    but i broke my promise..
    haven complete hw...
    ARGH!


    ♥ signed off at 9:43 PM

    Wednesday, June 20
    time is just slipping through my fingertips.....
    when i realise it, i was just dreaming....
    nothing's real....
    fake, lies, craps...
    i nvr want it to be this way...
    but it just happen didn it?
    i tried veri hard to avoid the unavoidable....
    does anything changed?

    ok, somethings will nvr change...
    or instead..they changed for the WORST
    somebody will say, that's ok, i tried my best...
    but did they really tried their best?
    people need to make their own decision.....
    n THAT was wad which caused everything to change...
    if u could see the future....
    will things be better this way?
    yes, we make mistake so this is not OUR fault....
    but is it relli necessary to find out WHOSE fault it relli is?
    isn't the solution to the problem we r searching for?
    Do u relli pushing all the blames to anyone...
    n said that its HIS/HER fault...
    then patted on his/her butt n walk away!!??
    that totally irresponsible....
    that's not the whole POINT!
    they r missing out the POINT!
    why cnnt they understand that blaming comes second....
    solutions come first?
    why do they always wanna find excuses to covered up themselves when somethings had gone wrong?
    JERKS!
    BUSTED AGAIN

    btw...i hav some competition going on here...
    i need some current affairs n history bout singapore...
    if u got some good web to recommend for me..pls tag at the tagbox n leave the address willya?
    those kindsoul out there who HELPED me to copy n paste...

    wow, i will relli so like u!!!
    pls send to me..either by e-mailing or send me when i'm online..
    everyone welcomed =)
    its due on monday..n i still got mani hw...
    HAIS


    ♥ signed off at 10:17 PM

    Everything changed.....
    the tables have TURNED.....
    from now onwards.....
    i'll.....


    ♥ signed off at 1:53 PM

    Tuesday, June 19
    Just me luck! Grrrr
    today go out to somewhere =X
    wif someone =X
    zz....
    first i wanna say bout the bangala washing the floor BUT my toe is NOT the floor...watch where he wash okay...its 'dangerous' N I WANNA COMPLAIN BOUT the stupid bloody household...they shouldn't threw the water out right from their window ok...water are meant to be threw in the drain...almost hit me lorhh...IF i didn see it coming....N i wanna complain bout the auntie....n ask her qns she just walk past me...zz...i was like wt....is she even looking?After that i wana complain bout the uncle....he act veri cool TO me lorhh...like 'yo boy, wad r u doing manz' that's my line dude! n he blow smoke TO me...wt...then there was a large large wind...i told u that the floors r too wet!!!the water all splashing round la..TO me AGAIN!!! ahhh...then! it was the wind, blow all the things i was holding...they were flying!! it was beautiful, err magnificent but that was my PAPER!!!n no one bother to pit it up! =.=
    BUSTED....


    ♥ signed off at 10:23 PM

    Monday, June 18
    change the song n the blogskin....

    i thought of using one blogskins thatwas veri eeewww de.but somehow or rather, the blogskin av something wrong...haiz...

    btw...i like the song of Danny Phatom.Hope u like it too((:

    today go to school for seans things...

    forgot to tell him to return the $7 he owed me...oh well.

    sean change his hairstyle, look quite style u know...LOL

    then when sean go...u know i cnt sit still de wad...so i go around the canteen lorhh...it relli bring back memories u know....both the good N the bad ones lah...saw Gasper there, outside GO.i wonder...he miss school N the GO?lols jkjk duntake it seriously manz...seriously, duntake any words i said seriously....which appeals to everyone seriously! Agreed? Aainaa n someone whom i forgot her name liao came...sry forgot...go talk to him, who hi back at me also...wonder why so mani ppl in school so early for wut?

    walk out of school n keep walking straight u will see her house.....i couldn't ripped my eyes off there lor.i saw one 3-1 girl...but i dunno her name...coz in 3-1 i m relli heckcare.No offence ok just that too hard to rmb n erm...forget wad that is....No offence n rmb, dun treat my words seriously, seriously! Okay! back to the subject.i know she HAD gone there n dunask me, coz i also dunno why i'm looking there for....just hav one sms which distracted me n kept on walking down the street, listen to songs n reading THE book.
    Eventually, i reached the library, which i dunno how i ended up there as i was so concentrate on the book! dunrelli hav much details as i dunrelli observed the environment.the library wasn't open YET, but it was told that it will be open 10minutes after. During that time, i thought i was gonna think bout her again....it IS like a simple routine now!!a familar face appearing in my mind.i recognise the voice but it turns out to be somebody else...for the first time i'm actually thinking bout somebody else!!! Wow!Waves of confusion swept through me.....the 'someone else' wasn't even a friend to me!! We r like, I know U, U know ME.As simple as that....but i cnt distracted off the hallucination that haunted my mind.ARRRGGGHHH...
    i was engrossed wif the thought n sank deeper in, that is, until someone smacked me on my back. omg, its FuYuan.It didn startled me since i was in deep thought. i was like, slowly regaining consiousness n saw her beside me. i suddenly felt pain, at the back. Wtf. so she's going for real!!?? jkjk. she was quite strong for a tomboy, too strong.. Lol..
    read until 12 n walk home...


    Before u, My life was like a night sky......
    Very dark, but there were stars....
    Points of light n reasons....
    Then u shot across the sky like a meteor....
    everything was on fire....
    when u r gone,
    the meteor had fallen over horizon....
    everything went black....
    Nothing had changed....
    just that my eyes were blinded by the light....
    n couldn't see the stars anymore....
    n there's no more reason for anything....






    ♥ signed off at 6:43 PM

    Sunday, June 17
    Taurus - Your Love Profile
    Your positive traits:
    You tend to stick with relationships - through the good and the bad.You are a great listener and tend to give valuable advice.Cautious and careful, you never jump in recklessly... saving yourself from heartbreak.
    Your negative traits:
    Money is very important to you, so much so that it's a cause of arguments in relationships.If your lover isn't loyal or attentive enough to you, your eyes start to wander...You tend to keep things inside - so your partner may not know when or why you're upset.
    Your ideal partner:
    Is stable, serious, and ready to be committed to you.Is successful and able to provide you with the lifestyle you crave.A true romantic, who is willing to express their desire for your heart.
    Your dating style:
    Comfortable and traditional. You'd love to have a nice meal at a cozy restaurant.
    Your seduction style:
    Love comes first for you before you'd even think of intimacy.Traditional: you're not a cold fish - but you're not into kink either.Pleasing... you always make sure that your partner is having a good time.
    Tips for the future:
    Be willing to change your mind. Who you think is the love of your life may be very wrong for you.Try listening to your mate. While your stubborn streak is hard to break, sometimes your partner knows best.Lighten up! The first months of a relationship should be about fun, not intentions.
    Best color to attract mate: Pale blue
    Best day for a date: Friday
    What's" Your Love Profile?

    saw this from someone's blog which i forget who is it liao x_x


    ♥ signed off at 9:40 PM

    3 girls go to my house today for the project thingy...come to think of it...no one actually invit me to their group except them T.T
    To say the truth, no girls actually come to my house before...well, except fiona something something...forgot her surname but it is definetly NOT LIM!!!!Xie la no actually...i mean ppl wif no blood relation la...from my small memory space...i onli rmb her or is it onli her?zz ok as i was saying, today got 3 at one time also.. i tried not to think u-know-who as a girl which laft onli one option(which is a boy) but still quite shy..hoped sean is a girl.. LOL.
    Got down to the marsiling MRT n they were already there. Change my plans. coz mengting is taking 912 n shun lu ma so ask her to go to fuchun sec.Dunno why hor, Yanqing walk infront of me, n jay followed her closely behind. Me?all the way at the back. After some walking, they tell me, they dunno how to go to the fuchun sec.....n i was like...wt..i should be the leading person right? just like the times when sports heat. =.= YanQin always wanna be at the first i realise...i meant walking=.=
    mengting called me before we reach there, n i was helloing n weiing but no reply...then she called me again..i thought she saw me there, coz when i was weiing n helloing, i saw her.zz
    To my house. mengting was so ke qi. ask me should i get a glass of water for them ladies...of coz in chinese la =.= everything was cooled n chilled ok.
    just that they fan my books, talk bout my poems, n gossips project work *Ahem* too bad that ZhenHui just happened to msg me at that time... n shot out of my mouth some infomation... zz

    Mengting spilled the hot water on my hand n the floor, thank god it is not THAT hot..still cn take it...
    that was not onli wad she does..she snatch my video cam from my coz she thought i was fliming her which i was not...it is still in recording mode n since she snatch it, she got wad she want, mengting on tape...zz =.=
    n she read my book bout the guy's dairy...well, in actual fact. they say my house is quite clean n tidy... that calls for the last minute tidy up as shown in the last post which has been saved as draft.=.= i didn know that they r coming that time though. i onli know it when i saw mengting on cwp. Bi jie talk bout her sister which was like me...n looking at my blog but nvr tag!!seriously guys, do u know i put a code there to let u see how much hits i hav in the time onli one day n hits hav gone on to 50+ so u guys r not tagging T.Talthough the 45% is made up of meok back to the subject. By her tone n her 'speech' or should i say evidenceno doing Social Studies lershe was quite like me.On the other words, the reliability is high. =.= wonder who he or she is...forgot he is a she or she is a heno matter wad u pls tag kays? LOL =.=
    Yanqin was quite 'quiet'? didn relli talk to anyone on my house much... Stupid house
    Life r so wadeva
    it has been how mani day ler ar? it seems like forever...
    she's gone....
    Grr...now must chiong hw!!!
    N REVISION
    like real waahhahas
    tomorow sean better lend me copy
    *evil grin*


    ♥ signed off at 6:57 PM

    Saturday, June 16
    think through....
    i had been more n more rash this days....
    is it my rebilious stage?
    fight wif my lao pa yesterday....
    he started it off by scolding me off for some stupid reason of my working FACE....
    who cares how ppl feel manz?
    (after proper translation)
    lao pa:help me wash dishes la, u at home nvr do anything de. i working veri tough. u must understand.
    me: (mumble)i cook the dish, sweep the floor wad....
    lao pa: but u nvr do it properly. u must understand, everything i done is for ur own good copy i'm not stupid 1 de it is to prepare u so when u go out to work, u will hav a good working attidue...that's why there's a family education n school education. it is to train u for the........(n so on, talking craps)
    me: *keep noding n pretending i'm listening veri fake* ya ya ya
    lao pa: *punched me on my shoulder n face* how could u talk to ur father like this....this kinda attidue!!??

    me: *pretending there's an ant bit*i'm listening veri attentively wad....norh, i'm washing now as u talk wad....
    lao pa: *buaytahan sit on the chair*
    me: *keep insisting that I M NOT WRONG*
    lao pa: *hit me again*
    me: *hit him backz*
    the other family members: *stand there n watch*
    this is my family....
    m i being more rash?
    maybe i should not keep stuffing all my feelings on my heart anymore...
    maybe i should let it go!
    YEA...


    ♥ signed off at 8:52 PM

    it would be like she never existed....

    echoing in my mind non-stopping....

    with shaky leg i moved towards the dense medium....

    no evidence or clues were left....

    (it would be like she never existed)

    time made no sense as i pushed through the thick undergrowth....

    it felt like as if time had been frozen solid.

    it looks the same no matter how far i went....

    i started to worry if i had been traveling in circles....

    i stumbled often as the medium gets darker n darker....

    i tripped over something n it was all black then....

    no idea wad had caught my foot but it sure made my laid still....

    it started raining then which bothers me a little....

    the rain continued as i felt the water pooling up against me....

    the sound of her name unleashes the thing clawing inside me....

    th pain that knock me breatheless, astonished me with its force....

    i shook my head n it keep recoiling....

    i felt the concrete floor beneathe my knees...

    my hands press against my face....

    unfortunately, i didn lose consiousness....

    the waves of pain now reared high up n washed over my head....

    pulling me under....

    i did not RESURFACE


    ♥ signed off at 3:49 PM

    Friday, June 15
    She's going off tonight according to my sources
    i would be living wifout her in my mind...
    as if she had gone to a faraway place...
    somewhere that i'm not belonged...
    n i shouldn't even be thinking of that place...
    kinda like everytime she seems so close....
    n yet so faraway....
    nvm nvm.... i think i m a little bit adapt to the way it should be le ba....
    just a little something...
    btw, coz shikin wants her name to be everywhere, i might as well add all in...
    pls do not be suprise if ur name came out more than once.
    n it doesn't meant anything....

    here's wad i'm listening to while doing the wei xing xiao shuo...

    .....爱情树.....
    我不要你在我身边

    却看着蓝天
    不看我的脸
    我但愿你快乐的飞

    将来要相爱
    都还有时间
    风开始在吹

    孤独好直接
    爱最苦的是不能相依偎
    然而我会等着你
    回来的季节
    我的爱情是一棵树
    永远不会离开一步
    风雪多残酷
    我想我挺得住
    我的生命是一棵树
    只愿成为你的归宿
    我义无反顾
    守护你是最大 的幸福 (我义无反顾 从日落到日出 oh…..)
    最深的温柔是成全
    我张开双臂
    任凭你来回
    最痛的时候就思念 扎了根的心
    不可能撤退....


    ♥ signed off at 10:03 PM

    Thursday, June 14
    heard that she's going soon lers....
    hoped that lao ngoh wasn't wad i think she is....
    hoped that she was much much better than wad i think she is....
    at least for that few days....
    hoped that she will feel great doing wadeva they r doing there....
    hoped that she won't get bullied.....
    hoped that my worries r for nothing....
    hoped that i will feel better....
    hoped that.......
    Still Got Many More Things To Say=.= Just all the best kays?
    relli relli hoped that we will be friend....
    praying everyday....even now that i m so busy-.-"".
    well, if she's ok, i'm fine


    i tried loosening of my thoughts....
    i tried choking out the words....
    i tried reaching for it....
    I'm Dizzy;It Was Even Hard To Concentrate....
    Finding a way, Out of this nightmare....
    I couldn't controlled my deadened legs....
    there was a light, unusual breeze....
    n she was gone...
    the evidence of her in my world disappeared almost instantly....
    there weren't any footprints...
    like she nvr even existed....
    it was over
    time passes so fast....
    when i realised it, it had been so long....
    since someone shouted my name....
    I was in a dazed n took a veri long time to come to a conclusion that i should answer ....
    i dunthink i had fallen alseep;i was just lost in an unthinkable stupor....
    used up all my strength to the numbness....
    that kept me from knowing wad i dunwanna know....


    so wadcha think bout this?giv me some comment by tagging me will ya?


    ♥ signed off at 8:34 PM

    Wednesday, June 13
    The Keys to Your Heart
    You are attracted to good manners and elegance.
    In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.
    You'd like to your lover to think you are flexible and ready for anything!
    You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
    Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
    Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
    You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore.
    In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

    took this quiz...
    its quite accurate i cn tell u that
    recently hav been busy...
    busy busy busy
    BUSTED


    ♥ signed off at 3:22 PM

    Monday, June 11
    Happily ever after?
    Gdbye sir jun jie.
    thanks mother father , u r the best!!
    cnnt express ur love n concern for us by words
    but i sincerely wish u gd luck!
    Bon Vovage
    i'm talking craps


    ♥ signed off at 9:38 PM

    Friday, June 8
    Song-kai bu liao kou
    today go to library wif sean n the others...didn't talk much actually.the fat ppl go there n started jisiao us...but meiting n i keep quiet while watching their 'fight'.later the manager also came..sean say something bout ppl r getting trouble wif court, laws, n police while we r getting trouble wif library ... LOL -.- things had to end while we keep our pace..blasted bernard's hp wif loud voice but i think his ears also mani fats..too mani obstacles n the sound echo back =.=
    then we go n eat n buy some games...when going back home saw joyce n elysia... they were waving... i thought its for them... scarly they were waving at me... they werent suppose to rmb me wasn't i? i'm just a Loner.. an invisible face in the society... then i saw mengting at the shop when i go back to cwp one more time to check out the book... she was going to see gui ah gui ah...i also wanna watch.. coz too much money n nothing to use for veri sian leh... too bad she got the ticket alreadi... haiz...
    then saw elieen at the library. sean ask me to be careful wif this gal but she's quite gd wad... she also waved to me n say hi. i dunno how she know me. dunask me but i waved back n hi as well. she's quite a gd sudent for my first impression.
    Elyn n Elieen
    hmmm.. pronounciation problem....

    i'm still thinking of her?
    someone else had corrupted my mind...
    someone else had stole my soul...
    n i m quite sure that its not coming back)):


    ♥ signed off at 9:48 PM

    Thursday, June 7
    things r a bit crazy at the Leadership blablabla course....
    of coz its borin too)):
    i absolutely DETESTED to go there)):
    let's say my overal view bout the things happened there first xD
    First day was great.the female CIi duncare bout her name as u cn clearly see xDdidn scold me n having fun wif GL at the most corner in the auditory room, which is as cold as shit, as near as shit(i'm siting at the front row),n the most of all, i cnnt see the screen. How they expect me to pay ATTENTION then?Second day was quite gdas u cn see, i totally like the first one better((:next, i would wanna comment on zhaohong's father, lorry n sort.zhaohong's father's face stern meh?but he did hav the look of secret society/hei she hui lao da's facethe lorry is so cool!!((:although i'm down wif a flu now -.-the socks thingy is totally not my fault...Zzzz.start now shall we?
    Day 1.
    dunno where to go...we r so blur then see other secondary school's npcc n follow them. walk to the otherside just to found out that the CI had changed their venue to the side i moved frm.Zzzz.the HO/CI r being scolded by their boss -.- for bringing us to use that place.. OMG ... O.O"" Life relli sucked at the lecture... well, there's air conditioned , sortta place like a movie theatre so it onli leave the footprints of those bllody borin lecturers...i'm the squad IC for that day, which i VOLUNTEERED myself to be.miracle CAN happen dun they? xD. veri veri lusy as this is the first time i'm trying... my squad is squad 8. the combination of the second smallest amount of population(which is woodlands ring sec) n the least amount of population which is frm the ShuQun sec at jurong east. well, that's wad they told me! =D to form the least amount of ppl in the 10 squads. -.- the lunch was stupid n we continue the lecture again.....
    Day2.
    the last few to get to the place in time. chaoying n shafiq was late. shafiq could not get the Cert. )): so sad T.T the male CI say my Full-U is terrible. Terrible my foot ar! then he say he was a fun n loving guy. -.- he was talking crap n so am i...being punished by him n everyone dun talk to me afterwards... why is this so?? hmm...
    6ppl onli but need school bus...our school cnnt even affort to bring us home by bus... Cheap school manz.
    this is a summary...
    dun talk much


    well, i did think of her...
    well, she did appeared in my mind...
    well, she nvr disappeared frm my mind b4...
    DAMN ><



    ♥ signed off at 10:06 PM

    Wednesday, June 6
    for those who cnnt see the tagbox, or should i say navigation, i had deleted the navigation column for those who r too stupid so cnnt see(jk)or those lazy bones that dun see the profile column(jk) n u should see it better now((: had not been blogging lately.Why?ouh, npcc got so much things to do that i cnnt care bout blogging my internet connection had been down lately ma...posting things i done in these days
    Day 1(4/6/07)
    Going for npcc .22(dun ask me i dunno wad it means=.=)shoot.only for those who get marksman badge for boys i pro ma?get marksman leh, then girl too little ppl liao, so plus the ones wifout marksman but wanted to go so much desperate girls(jk)=.=

    i saw her n behaving weirdly after that > <""keep walking to the toilet again n again to avoid meeting eye contact wif her.i was making it so obvious that i so dunwan to...Saw her talking to him,haiz...no position to say something to her anyways...just looking at her secretly...her face is so...*snapped* O.O""i'm AWOKENED.in other words, she was as lovely as ever when someone came n ruined my daydream focus. It was my squadmates,telling me to go np room n zhenkang explain to us bout the rules n regulations n wadeva in the competetion.Zzzz.talk until we went to the bus...looking at her n saw her leave...just the same time the bus starts...
    zhenyang was emo in the bus while so am ifeeling so sad btw o.o finally i reached there...after tedious marching of crashing wif anyboody else,even wif my pro drill skills i finally made my way to the shooting range building.standing there like FOREVER when someone say 'woodlands ring npcc? where's woodlands ring npcc?'Saw mani familar faces...some frm primary school, some frm ATC, n some frm somewhere elsesomewhere la!so kp for wut? the sir was like talking for damn long using the same old sentence n he himself sian diao...IT WAS THE INSTRUTOR....dunno why but ever time go there sure meet one.he used his fiery eyes against me again=.=he will forever rmb me..i think?hope not xD
    finally it was the ACTUAL shoot.Damn, thinking bout something else was not an option..the time was like flying so fast n the countdown timer was like ticking in my ears as i shot all missed...i dunno if i shoot wrong target or wad but there's mani few holes on my target total marks i only hav 21/180!!!!the highest frm our team is zhenyang 97/180!!!!of coz i m the one wif the highest least marks n face the music...(intructors fiery eyes again=.=)waited for Mr Poh Tan like more than the time we waited for the shoot.Zzz.chaoying actually care!!thanks n i appreciate it xD.finally made our way to the bus after stepping through all the puddles n everything which was nothing to me
    in the bus they were talking bout how to get to LMSC(leadership mentoring secondary course) n one more competetion.Zzz which i was also in it=.=it was so damn lorhh BOTH COMPETETION which was held ONCE EVERY TWO YEARS IS GOING TO RUIN IN MY HANDS!!!how cool is that uh?hahas
    wad's the first thing i do when i get out of bus?go physics lesson.the LAST thing i wanna do suddenly become the FIRST thing i wanna do!!??i scanned the whole room before making any movement...it was strange as the first one i saw was herof coz la BUT U KNOW i search for mengting for almost like 5minutes...BUT i didn saw her..instead she was JUST INFRONT of me!!!?i think her friend notice i was looking at her or she suddenly realise that i'm there...when she was about to turn n face me, i turned n DASH out!!!smiling?pass that to Denisthen later arm wrestling wif sec 1...they r so serious dude...he was like whole face red liao still ARGH!!!coz i strong ma they r quite a competetor i should say LOL=.=campcraft go n find tape for the campcraft test...i was so OMG... O.o Believe me..u all had just missed a gd show =.=i was running like hell in search while i saw some band members lauhed at me...
    Grrrr...dunno band members hav gang somemore leh!! O.O""Logistic is Logistic..i found 3 sey...Being a logistic is not easy...u also must hav the 'skills' you mei you?hahas
    talking to sec1 girls n being scolded by them all(squadmates)
    Great power comes wif great responsibilitly.in other words, the one being pick on was ZhenYang.Being the 'chairperson' so npcc...he must take all the scolding n praise xD
    Day2 (5/6/07)

    she didn come tt day?My God...wad has happened to her??OMG OMG OMG..is she sick? is it serious? just hoped thats nothing for me to be worry bout *worrying*today coz go leadership course so also didn see her=.= Whole day drills..giving S.J ambulance briadge(dunno how to spell) they r going camp n wadeva.. need LOGISTIC you mei you? get beck frm denis n having cheer lesson at the end...Stupid assholes...Get Outta my sights u mother fuckin Freakshows.
    HATE U FOR LIFE...BETTER BE PREPARED DUDES.
    ARGH
    Day3(today)
    going to cwp...i'm the first one of coz la then junxiang, zhenyang n so on..the Yinching sua da pai.come so late...even zhaohong the VIP earlier than him sia..n shafiq overslept.ZZZzz =.=
    wad's comforting is, the lorry is really windy u know that? xD her father looked so stern?crapping here...continue tomorow...

    TO BE CONTINUED



    ♥ signed off at 8:49 PM

    Sunday, June 3
    for mani who doesn;t know, tagbox is on the navigation column...click tag-.-
    now i know mani ppl dun read the profiles...but i read!!O.O""
    life hasn't been much of a deal these days...
    dealing wif some trival matters just isn't my style....
    meliculous ppl in my geo group missed the BIG PICTURE...
    nonsense had surrounded me n there's no way for me to get out....
    as if i hav split personality or something....
    keep on hearing things...
    doing things which i dun rmb doing.....
    playing things which i dun play....
    thinking bout something all the time....
    i relli should take a rest frm the 1 month holiday...
    but they just dun let me...
    keep on giving make up lesson....
    npcc...projects....homeworks....n so on...
    not to mention more temptation on the games....
    the books....the tv shows...the msn...n computer gamings....
    this r hindrance...something which someppl called rubbish...
    more output n lesser input(i meant the $$$)....
    am i going bankrupt???
    this things r like playing round wif me...
    i wan to study but i just cnt.....
    'wad's ur prob'keep echoing there....
    right in the middle of my head....
    as i shriek....
    'bloodly hell, u r the murder!'


    things will nvr be the same again
    wifout ur smile i cn nvr raise my head again
    everytime i turned back
    i saw u,nvr had the courage to face u
    i was a jerk
    a coward!!


    ♥ signed off at 9:35 PM

    Friday, June 1
    To start off, i wake up wif the call of my alarm, but sleep again...the snoozer faithfully ring n ring but i nvr wake up((:until...where my mother shouted for me to wake up n i sleep again, n shouting n sleeping n shouting n sleeping..finally i was wokened!!!0.0'''' in 7.15am where class starts at 8 n i nvr had anything ready YET-.- life was EVER a RUSH-.-
    i rush to the MRT station just to see that the MRT doors closed just one step away frm me..(i'm standing infront of the yellow line liaos 'for ur own safety, pls stand behind the yellow line') dunno why but this played so late today n just that time somemore i dramatic there liaos..knowing i cnnt go in...i stretch my hand out..acting as if a lover had just walk away...Zzz..suddenly, a miracle happen...the MRT doors open again...i walked in n everyone's starring at me..AGAIN...maybe they r thinking why this fellow always want to drama...frm drama club issit...LOL
    rush to school, just to see onli zhenyang there...i m so early ar???now then i know...Grrr...i wanna lend book frm him to copy..but too bad he is also doing too...sofian bring wrong book...Grrr...life is so much interesting...but waiting for someone is nvr easy...dunno who i waiting for..but my eyes seems to hav mind on its own n looking at the outside...she came n i walk to the other seat while lending james n bryan's book to copy...hehe...why at that time...i cnnt seem to raise up my head one bit to see her but my other mind is telling me to see her... so desperately
    the lesson i was like cnnt help but look at her lorhs...i think her friends saw me...oh well..sofian was a great guy...he knows not much a joke but still an entertainment((: yes tcher i know the answer.ya..i was looking at the sky when tcher caught me slacking...n guess i know the answer to the qns..I KNOW!!but someone wants the action n snatch the answer first away frm me..LOL..javin came after 50mins while pEaRLyN came after 1hr 10mins...she's even late if it starts on 9 u know...Zzz...it wasn't long after when tcher caught me again...always ask the girls for the dates...n ya la..XL...i duneven hav the worksheet..u care??Zzz...still hav to collect the paper..sry for keeping u waiting sean!!but i know u wun blame me...coz u r spending time wif ur dearest meiting...LOL xD when she go home...i sortta like wanna rush out likdat...why ar??Zzz
    got my IC...yay..the pic wasn't nice..heard frm sean mani ppl laugh when i'm taking the pic..aiya...nvm la.)):go to the library n sean used me...used my cashcard..got a feeling of being used u know...=.=bernard,yanqin,jay came after that...then i go n change my clothes go out n saw Elyn n pearlyn..aiya...veri ashamed la..last time saw elyn also wearing the excact same shirt...my memory was veri gd i know((:they go so soon le??begged me not to saw anybody again...especially her..Zzzz..i m praying there,u guys didn notice that i'm so quiet??haiz...cnnt help it..always something on my mind at that time..cnnt do maths qns also..hav i becoming so confused??come to think of it..the feeling is the strongest at THAT faithfull exam week DAY..there's an EVENT going on...no wonder all my maths result fair so badly..Grrrr...we go n eat after that..To Jay n YanQin:i m not immortal le..i retired..LOL=.=
    saw that F**** security guard again...bernard was scolding him...hhaas..i enjoyed..in the front seat...hehe...we tried a lot of times to take his photo...hehe...walk home..thinking of her??i think no..my mind was like blank liao...Zzz...
    i still LIKE her??erm...still thinking so??


    ♥ signed off at 7:50 PM