i think its time for me to grow up... seeing others moving on to greater heights.. matured during days of hardships.. develop their own careers or interest.. knowing wad they should or wanna be..
me? i'm still the same old winson. regardless of how many challenges i faced.. how many sufferings inflicted on me.. i m still so immature..childish.. hearing things like "winson is the most childish person in our squad lorhh" "if u matured i popo/ah gong liao lo" "stop crapping winson" "dun be lame or childish. ppl'll nvr respect u in this state" so that's the comment i got.. continously for the past few yrs... ppl fully live their best.. cherish their memories n moving on. i'm still a cry baby.. fifteen but emotionally hurt... by friends n sort.. dunwanna talk bout it.. but ppl r asking me.. digging the wound right inside me.. they were killing me.. keep talking bout her name.. keep asking me wad feelings i have for her now.. their concern r being much hurt than console.. but i told them, i'll get over her.. although "will" is a future tense..
i still holding back on my past.. perhaps i should abandoned it.. every single memories.. to have a brand new me.. a decisive, confident, successful me.. perhaps i will nvr change even when i grow old.. i'll become "lao wan tong"(childish ah gong)
problems r so irritating n i usually ran away frm it leaving it behind while it accumulate itself.. i dunno who to trust anymore.. i dunno who's my friends..
as wad asmita say, some r just her hi,bye friends m i her hi,bye friend as well? relli confuse bout life.. she's like the lamp shinning through my room, telling me the solutions for this problems.. but she's gone now.. so m i lost? the feel of lost stinks!>.< i feel like a child, lost in cwp... everyone's doing their own stuffs, no one actually ask bout who i m... no one actually bothers... i cried.
yesterday's a long day, first i go to make-up lesson.. learn much more things than classes.. i'm paying attention to teacher maybe.. redzuan n the others took out the tcher's sweets.. while she's outta class to revive the computer.. maybe i should expose them of their prepostorous deeds.. well, i didn =P asmita is relli great... her smile can wake the dead! laughing awake!!O.O she's always so cheerful... barely realise that this is the girl who cried seeing her mid-yr results.. sit with her while at bus 912.. talk bout lots of things.. hi bye friend n sort.. i was just thinking of saying something just now.. but oh well, i forgot so nvm.. xD then i go for the terrorism thingy.. i was late becoz of that F**** mrt!! say wad not meant for passenger? oh yeah? i saw someone in there!.. shafiq n chaoying were later than me so nvm.. its raining heavily.. making me emo again... in the table, didn talk much.. not like me.. heard her name.. well, that's a common name.. but zhenyang n shafiq both turned n look at me.. i was feeling sad n trying to avoid her name!! WHY DOESN"T ANYONE UNDERTAND!!?? WHY EVEN STRANGERS HURT ME!!?? ok chill, then i stand up.. tell the fuckin' idoit "look, somebody's tryin' na calm down here by going to this event VOLUNTARILY, n why dude? coz he wanna work himself to death by avoiding prob" the above weren't true.. in actually fact, i covered my head n started... k now for the later part.. the food is quite appetising.. hmm, the questions were quite good.. god damn it.. the fat little guy ask,"there seems to be a little commotion down there" "the guy with the deep in thought posture(me)pls if u hav any qns" coz i was thinking to say.. "putting so many cameras in school was invading our privacy.. woodlands ring sec, my school is a GREAT example..it has camera everywhere.. but wad's the use.. theft n such crimes still occurs. wad more? student think they were being watch, a typical jail. we weren't criminals, why should we be treated like one? why would we be sort of like "serving jail term" just because of some mather fuckin' idoit who ran round stealing other ppl's things" HOWEVER, i wasn't able to say that.. wtf, everyone was like looking at me "deep-in-thought" i was like dead.. ok, manage to laugh off my probs.. took chaoying's free ride home.. oh yeahh(:
pictures r not now yet.,. lazy to upload, but going to.. after i finihs my hw of coz.. dunwanna copy anymore.. just work myself to death.. death? oh yeahh i will pei ni one dunworry meiting
